great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
