So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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