I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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