That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
