Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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