He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
