you guys were way drunker than both of me
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
