How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
