Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
