I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize