So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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