My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize