Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
