Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
