just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
