Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
