i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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