Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
