Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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