Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
