I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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