I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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