we're chasing vodka with high fives
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
