seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
