i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
