now i know why i became what i already was.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
