Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
