I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
