Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
