I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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