Will you blow on my dice?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
