We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
