I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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