Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
