im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
