I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
