so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
