We named our party play list daddy issues
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
