'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize