question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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