rhymes with "ouble enetration"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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