somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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