I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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