You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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