also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
