yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
