whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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