I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
