I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
