you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
