So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
