sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Will exercising make me less horny?
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