my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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