Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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