well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
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