Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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