Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
