Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
