There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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