32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wish you could order shots online.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
