i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He has the fingertips of a God
Shame - the story of my life.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
