We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Come see our sink grown plant.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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